Hunger Games Fairytale Remixes!
by TheFluffiestUnicorn
Summary: Let's take a bunch of time's favourite fairytales and ruin them by having the hunger games characters invade them! That's right, all your favourites such as Rapunzel, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, The little mermaid, Snow White and many more will be re-written with the Hunger Games Characters present. Read as they ruin the plot line!
1. Katpunzel

**Author's Note: I feel terrible! I should be updating my other stories, but instead I start a new one! Oh, well. Give me some credit, school started today. Also on a side note, the next update for my other story, High School Love and High School Rebellion, will probably be updated this Thursday, a day before my birthday! Anyway, this story is going to be a bunch of fairytale re-mixes, featuring stories such as Rapunzel (this one), Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, Puss in Boots, Sow White, Jack and the beanstalk and more! Only it will be messed up since The Hunger Games characters are involved. This one is a re-mix of Rapunzel, with Katniss as Katpunzel and Peeta as Prince Pita. Enjoy! Characters will be OOC, since this is parody. Aren't they fun?**

**NOTE: Slightly re-written with more parts added. It's kind of better...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or Rapunzel.**

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land known as Distictia 12, a woman gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and named her Katpunzel, as they were high at the time. Katpunzel grew up to be very beautiful and had long brown hair, and gray eyes so gray, you swear that there were storm clouds in her eyes.

The woman and her husband adored Katpunzel, until she had another daughter, Primrose, and favoured her over Katpunzel. The couple had enough of Katpunzel and threw her, along with a life supply of food, water and clothes, up a 300 metre tower, located deep in the woods.

Katpunzel lived a lonely life, and became somewhat emotionally unstable. The only way she could entertain herself is by shooting arrows at the wall, which is what her parents threw up there on her 10th birthday. Her hair eventual grew the length of the tower, and she braided it, that took like, 35 hours.

Yep, Katpunzel had a pretty crappy life. But it was about to get crappyx2.

In the city there lived a prince named Peeta Mellark. His father was the king as bread was currently the money currency. He was the average prince, blonde hair, blue eyes, that dumb old boring cliché.

Peeta, or Prince Pita as most mockingly called him, was a psycho in love with a girl he never met. Oh yes readers, it was Katpunzel. He fell in love with her when he first saw her in the newspaper, the headline was: 'Psychopath girl refuses to come out of tower'. Pita decided that one day, he would rescue her, and she would fall in love with him.

But there was another boy in love with her too, Gale Hottytone. Gale met Katpunzel one day when he went illegally hunting in the woods. Pita would know, he seen them talking thousands of times when he also illegally went into the woods, he was the prince he could do anything, to pick bread from bread trees. Looks like the old term; 'Money doesn't grow on trees' was proven incorrect. Pita always got so angry whenever he saw Katpunzel chatting to Gale, so one day he decided he would do something about it.

So one day Pita got on his horse, Cheesebun, and rode through the woods towards Katpunzel's tower. But Gale was on his tracks, riding on his mother, Hazelle, like she was a horse. Pita spotted Gale and began to panic. Hazelle was running pretyy fast for a middle-aged woman. Pita resorted to his last option, throw what his was holding at Gale. And it was bread.

"Take this!" Pita yelled, throwing the bread at Gale. Gale looked at the bread and seemed to explode into an un-healthy level of happiness.

"I'm rich!" yelled Gale, as I said before; bread is money in this sick, twisted alternate universe. Gale stuffed the bread into his pockets and rode the opposite way on Hazelle back to town, leaving Pita free to claim Katpunzel's heart. Pita was so happy he could finally start handing out wedding invitations.

_Like two hours later_

Pita arrived at the tower and yelled; "Yo! The name's Pita! I loaf you Katpunzel! Let down your hair so we can get married and have many babies!" he waited under the tower for her reply and saw her stick her head out her window.

Katpunzel peered down from her window and looked at Pita. She then walked back into her room, and returned, and lowered down a can on a piece of string. Pita put the can to his ear.

"Can you say that again? I didn't hear you." Katpunzel said though the can.

Pita wet himself. "OMIGOD! The can! It talked to me!"

Katpunzel face palmed. "No idiot," she said, "It's me, Katpunzel."

"Oh..." Pita responded, "Well in that case, could you let down your hair? Pretty please?"

Katpunzel looked confused for a moment, but then she nodded, and walked away, the returned momentarily. Pita was excited this was finally happening, but then looked up and saw something that was defiantly not hair. She threw down her chair. Peeta ran away.

"ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD!" he yelled peering up, running back.

"Oh sorry, I thought you said chair" Katpunzel apologised. "So, what brings you here?"

"Well," Pita began, "I am prince of 12 and-"

Katpunzel laughed, interrupting Pita "Yeah right, you prince?" Pita ignored her and continued.

"And I want us to get married and have kids." Pita said. He looked up at her hopefully.

But to his surprise, Katpunzel's mouth dropped open in a very angry fashion. "Pita say what?"

Pita stuck his nose up. "Katpunzel, stop being such a b-word and accept that we're supposed to be together!"

Katpunzel growled. "What? Are you afraid to call me a bitch?"

Pita got angry. "Oh, you did not just go there, bitch!"

"I live there!" Katpunzel yelled back. She could feel her blood boil.

"Really well," Pita started, and continued yelling a bunch of 'colourful' words up at Katpunzel. Katpunzel eventually got sick of this, and shot a dozen arrows at him.

Pita quickly got frightened and jumped on Cheesebun, and rode back to the city. For the rest of the week Pita continued to return to Katpunzel, only to have a dozen arrows shot down at him. Again.

One night, Pita thought of a new plan. He would sing to Katpunzel. Then she would surely love him! He had a pretty slick voice (sarcasm).

The following day, Pita returned to the tower, took out his guitar (which he may have or not have stolen from Gale), which was decorated in bread stickers, and started singing as loud as he could to a song he wrote himself, while playing his guitar terribly.

_Katpunzel, my loaf,_

_I loaf you,_

_Which means love,_

_Get it? It's a bread pun!_

_Oh Rye you gotta be so mean?_

_Ha-ha, another bread pun!_

_I should be a comedian!_

_Oh, Katpunzel, my loaf,_

_I loaf-_

"SHUT UP!" Katpunzel yelled. "Shut the BEEP up!" She angrily dug her finger nails into the tower's bricks underneath her window.

Pita put his hands on his hips, and stuck his hip out like a girl and pouted. "Not until you let me climb your braid!" he yelled at her.

"NEVER!"

Pita gave up and sat down, crying. He sadly returned home, only to later get another great idea. He remembered the arrows. Bingo! He could use them to climb the tower. Tomorrow he would take his plan into action.

The next day, he returned to Katpunzel's tower and pulled two arrows out from the ground. He then dug them into the brick work and began climbing.

Katpunzel saw and said, "Like you can climb 300 metres."

_Several hours later_

"I did it!" Pita huffs, climbing though the window, "I actually did it!"

Katpunzel snorted. "No kidding, this is a damn fairytale, anything happens."

"Now," Pita said rubbing his hands together evily, "I'm up here with you, you will be forced to marry me! MUHAHAHA!"

Katpunzel gave him a 'yeah right' look before saying "In your dreams."

Pita sulked and threw a trantrum. "But I already handed out the wedding invites!" he yelled.

"Well tell them the weddings cancelled." she said sheepishly, odd for this situation, walking to her room.

Pita almost cried. His master plan failed him! Katpunzel wouldn't, and never will, want to marry him. But then he saw something on the table in the small tower. Scissors. Nice, sharp scissors.

Pita looked at Katpunzel's hair. He had a plan. He grabbed the scissors, and then grabbed Katpunzel from behind, then chopped her hair, shoulder length. He then threw the rest out the window and laughed evily.

Katpunzel just registered what happened. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" Katpunzel screeched.

"Cut your hair", Pita replied. "So you and I will be stuck here forever and ever. No escaping!"

Katpunzel, upon hearing this, made a dash to the window, and jumped out. "See you later, loser!" she yelled back at him, laughing.

"No!" Pita cried, jumped after her.

Now, if this was real life, they would die. But this was a fairytale so they both survived. Pita landed on top of Katpunzel.

"Get off me fatty!" she screeched

"I loaf you too!"

* * *

"And they live happily ever after, the end." Haymitch finished his story and looked at Katniss and Peeta's kids. "What did you think?"

"It was terrible." the oldest said, a disgusted look on her face.

"Well I'll let you know that-" he was interrupted by a very angry mother.

"Haymitch!" Katniss said, walking into the room, "How many times have I told you not to tell stories while you're baby sitting our kids? It'll scar them, again!"

Haymitch shrugged. "Once?"

The End.

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**Oh yes. Everyone will end with a different character telling the story. The next one will be –drum roll please- Little Red Riding Hood! With Clove as Red and Cato as the Big Bad Wolf. Let's see how that turns out… Next update will also probably be on Thursday, or some other day…**

**Review? They're a fairytale teller's best friend!**

**Ice Hearts **


	2. Little Red Ridding Hood kinda

**Author's note: MY PEN NAME CHANGED! (Wow, why did I write that in capital letters?) Now I'm Wonderfully Random. So this is the next one! I really don't like it, but whatever. I present to you, Little Red Riding Hood… Sort of…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

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Once there was a short, freckled face, brunette named Clove (which means to _cleave_, not the garlic thing) who lived with her mother in a house located in the middle of nowhere, also known as the woods. Clove had a grandmother who was, described by Clove, sick in the head, so she made Clove a red clock, and her mum made her wear it _everyday_. She wore it so often, that people started calling her Little Red Riding Hood. But of course, if you called her that, she would throw a knife at your head and kick you continuously.

One day Clove's mother had to deliver something to Clove's Grandma, but was too lazy. So she sent sixteen year old Clove instead. She put the package in a basket, and told Clove not to open it. She also forced Clove to wear her stupid red clock. Before she left, her mother gave her a warning;

"Remember Clove, don't look in the basket. Also don't talk to anyone you don't know. They will most likely be paedophiles that want to rape you and won't wear protection, and make you pregnant, and then later refuse to pay child support, leaving you in a big-"

"Sheesh mum, I get it!" Clove whined. "It's not like it'll actually happen!"

Clove's mum went silent for a moment before answering. "Ah ha…. that's right dear, it's not like that happened to me and I don't even want you and you never see your father because he was 80 when I gave birth and he's dead now… ha-ha…. you should go now"

Clove rolled her eyes "Yeah, right." she stepped into the large woods and started walking. She had a huge trip ahead of her; her Gran lived at the other side of the woods.

After a few minutes, Clove got hungry. She wondered if there was food in the basket, and if she could eat it. As she was about to take a peek in, a voice stopped her.

"Omigodz, it's a girl in a red coat! Call triple zero!" the voice said.

Clove turned around and saw a muscular blonde boy with icy blue eyes stare at her. "Sorry, but my mum said I'm not allowed to talk to strangers." Clove shrugged and walked away.

"Wait!" the guy said, stopping Clove. "My name's Cato. I'm supposed to be the Big Bad Wolf, but I'm too sexy. See, you know me now. I'm not a stranger, Little Red Riding Hood."

Clove hissed. "My name's Clove"

"Okay Clove," Cato said, "Why aren't you allowed to talk to strangers?"

"Because," Clove said walking away, "Mum said they would want to rape me. Now I need to go, I need to deliver some junk to my big butt Grandma"

Cato got angry at the sight of her walking away. "Well, I wouldn't want to rape you, you're ugly anyway!" he yelled.

Cato felt the need to punch a tree, and did since he had anger issues. But then he had an idea. Little Red Ri- err, Clove's Grandma was known throughout the woods for making delicious cookies. He could sneak in before Clove got there, take some, and leave. Genius!

Cato ran the way, and when he finally got there, he saw Clove hadn't arrived yet. Cato opened the door, (Clove's Grandma was stupid enough to leave it open and not lock it) and walked in. And Cato almost died. There were no cookies! He ran 4 metres for nothing!

Cato was about to leave, when a note taped on the fridge distracted him. It read:

_Dear Clove, (AKA Little Red Riding Hood)_

_I'm out today playing extreme bingo with my friends from my senior centre. Leave the basket on my bed side table._

_Love, Granny_

Cato was busy wondering what the hell extreme bingo was, when he heard a knock on the door.

"Hey Granny! It's me, Clove, open up!" the voice un-mistakenly belonged to Clove.

Crap. Cato thought if he stood still, Clove would think no one was home and go away. But that back fired.

"I know you're in there! I can see your fat head through the window!" she yelled.

Double Crap. Cato, in his panic, ran into Granny's room, put on one of her _ugly_ night gowns, jumped in the bed and called: "Come in, Little Red Riding Hood!" in his most girly voice.

"Granny, don't call me that!" Clove whined, walking through the door. She got a very big surprise. Her Nan was under the blankets.

"Uh…. are you okay?" she asked.

"Of course dear, now be a sweetie and put the basket on the table." Cato replied, taking out his hand from the blankets and beckoning to the table.

Clove did as she was told, but then ripped the blankets off. Her mouth dropped open. "Wow Gran… what blue eyes you have, last time I checked, your eyes were dark green." Clove said, staring suspiciously.

"Contact lenses" Cato barked out.

"And what pink nails you have… why are they pink?"

"Because it's manly, I mean fashionable."

"And what blonde hair-"

"Dyed it"

"And white teeth! I thought you didn't know how to use a toothbrush!"

"I uh…. found a YouTube video on it?" he said, his voice lacking confidence.

Clove smirked. "Gig's up, Cato. Why were pretending to be my Gran?" she asked. "Seriously!" Clove picked up her basket and hit Cato on the head with it.

"Ow!" he yelled. "I just wanted cookies!"

"Cookies?" Clove hit him again.

"Yes!" he yelled "What's in that damn basket anyway? It's like a ton of bricks!"

Clove shrugged. "Mum said I couldn't look inside."

Cato took the basket from her. "Well she didn't say I couldn't, did she?" Cato opened the lid and took out was in there. It was a book! He stared at it and blinked.

"What the hell is this?" he mumbled.

"Let me see…" Clove snatched the book and read the title. "It's called 'The Hunger Games'…." she turned it over, "24 children are forced to fight to death…."

Cato gasped dramatically in shock, "Who would do such a thing?"

"I don't know, who do you think I am? Einstein?" she hit him on the head with the basket again. "Why would my Nan want this for anyway..?"

"Easy" Cato answered "She probably loves violence."

Clove hit him again. "Get out of here!" she yelled. Cato ran away.

_The next week_

Clove was back delivering the next book to her Gran in the trilogy, Catching Fire. When she arrived, she received a big shock. Cato was sitting at her Gran's kitchen table, stuffing his mouth with cookies.

"What is he doing here?" Clove pointed at Cato.

"Oh," Clove's Gran said, "Your mother and I decided, he's your future husband! Now do you have my book?"

Clove fell to the ground dramatically. "No!" she yelled.

* * *

"But eventually, over time, Cato and Clove fell in love and fucked each other for the rest of eternity. The End." Marvel concluded, putting the book down. "What did you think?"

Marvel studied the three people in front of him. Glimmer was trying not to laugh, and Cato and Clove were steaming.

"What the fuck Marvel? That was _not_ Little Red Riding Hood!" Clove hissed.

"Yeah!"

Marvel shrugged "I put my own little twist on it" he quickly learned that was the wrong answer.

"Let's get him" Clove murmured to Cato. He nodded, and the two started chasing the now terrified District 1 boy.

Glimmer was relieved they were gone, and burst out laughing. She picked up Marvel's book, and stared at it curiously. "Now that can't be Little Red Riding Hood…" she thought out loud. She saw that it was just a picture of a girl in a red jacked taped to the front. Glimmer ripped off the picture and discovered it was actually the Hunger Games book. Glimmer turned to a random page and started reading.

_Several minutes later_

Marvel came running back to the reading Glimmer. "I… huff puff, think I …lost them…" he took a huge breath in.

"Marvel!" Glimmer whined "This book is terrible, there's this awesome, sexy character called Glimmer, and she dies from all these wasps' stings! Can you believe that?"

Marvel put his hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I can actually."

The End!

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**That's done. But I can't decide the next one. It's either: Jack and the bean stalk, the little mermaid or Snow White. Opinions..? (And know, the little mermaid is not becoming the little nerdquaid, I have something planned for Marvel. *inserts evil laugh*)**

**Wonderfully Random (Don't forget to press the pretty review button!)**


	3. The Little Finnick

**Author's note: So the little mermaid received the most votes! And here it is! And yes, I made Finnick the little mermaid, kill me. So I was originally going to base this off the original fairytale, where the mermaid doesn't even have a name, and dies at the end. BUT, I'm not one for sad endings, so I based this off the Disney movie instead. I also can't believe I make you guys laugh, seriously. Keep up the support!**

**Finnick will probably be very OCC. **

**Response to 'haley the taco': That's a good idea, I think I'll do that next time, and Glimmer can be the cow Rue has to sell. And Rue has to plant Beetee, and Thresh can be the giant. Oh my god, I'm so writing this. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or The little mermaid.**

* * *

"Oh my godz, Mags!" an excited merman exclaimed, while he swam around in aimless circles. "It's my birthday tomorrow! You know what that means?" he asked the fish beside him.

The merman's name is Finnick, and he is very, very sexy. Like, sexy x 100,000. He is also the son of King Cinna, the biggest fashion guru in the sea.

The fish beside him is Mags, a very old fish who you can't even understand when she talks. She's like, 100,000,000 or something. Her fish scales are covered in wrinkles.

"Nlu La lish?" Mags guessed, her fat wrinkles around her face flying everywhere.

"Good guess, but no" he told her. "It means I'll be eighteen, and, drum roll please, I'll be able to go to the surface again and add to my collection!" Finnick's face lit up as soon as he mentioned his 'collection'.

Every year when Finnick was allowed to go up to the surface, he would find some interesting things floating on the water. Very interesting things. He would grab as many things as he could and dump them in some 'isolated' sea cave. And by isolated, I mean it was next to the castle with a huge sign pointing to it.

You're probably wondering what these things are, right? Well... they're bras. And panties. And bikinis. And thongs. Yes, people dump these things in the ocean.

Finnick stopped swimming in circles and grabbed Mags' fin. "Magsssssss, let's go see my colectiooooonnnn!" he sing-yelled, dragging her off.

The two shortly arrived at the cave and dramatically stared at its entrance. "...wow" Finnick mouthed.

"...bitchy" Mags murmured, nodding in agreement.

Finnick and Mags swam into the cave and danced and singed like idiots for some stupid amount of time.

They would've danced for longer, but Cinna interrupted them by knocking on the side of the cave.

"Come in daddddd!" Finnick yelled. Cinna swam into cave and looked around. He gasped at what he saw.

"Finnick!" Cinna yelled. "Do you know what these things are?"

Finnick sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes dad, I know what they are. Lady Humans use them to cover up the-"

Cinna interrupted him. "How long have you been collecting them for?"

"Since I was three" Finnick announced proudly.

Cinna stared. "Get rid of them." Cinna said sternly. "Now."

Finnick's mouth dropped open. "Why?" he whined.

"Son, I don't want you to be a pervert."

"But I'm the sex god of the Great Barrier Reef! Besides, I always catch you looking at pictures of that Portia lady without her tail on." Finnick argued.

Cinna went silent for a moment before answering. "That's ...different."

"How?" Finnick questioned.

"Just get rid of them!" Cinna snapped.

"Noooooooooo!" Finnick screamed.

"Juuujkllooooo!" Mags yelled.

"That's ENOUGH!" Cinna roared. "I'll get rid of them myself then." Then, to Finnick's horror, Cinna whipped out his magic sewing machine and waved it around dramatically. Suddenly, all the things in the cave got all crumbly and got destroyed. But this story is so stupid and farfetched that the main characters were left unharmed.

"There." Cinna dusted his hands and smiled to himself. "All gone, now run along little Finnie."

Finnick felt like he needed to cry, and he would've, except Mags shoved some sugar cubes in his mouth.

"Thanks Mags" Finnick mumbled, although it wasn't understandable, as he had like a dozen sugar cubes in his mouth.

_Some time later_

That night, Finnick snuck out of the under sea castle and used his secret song to call Mags. He sang his song to a catchy tune.

_Ah, girl look at that body,_

_Ah, girl look at that body,_

_Girl look at that body,_

_I work out_

_When I walk in the room,_

_This is what I see,_

_Everybody stops and is staring at me,_

_I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, _

_Show it,_

_Show it,_

_I'm sexy and I know it_

Mags heard the song and swam over. Finnick saw Mags and started squealing like a school girl. "Mags," Finnick squealed quietly, "I have a plan! You and I are going to swim to the surface! Are you in?"

"Blublufushhhh"

"I take that as a yes." Finnick said with a smile, and with that, he grabbed Mags' small blubbery hand and swam off, towards the surface.

As soon as they reached the top, a huge boat drove by. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" Finnick yelled.

"DUHHVLERGXDQEUUU!" Mags yelled. Mags then caught sight of something on the boat and pointed. "Blffffffouiuhb!"

"Huh?" Finnick turned around and saw a pretty girl sitting on the rail of the boat, absent mindly picking her nose while humming the tune of several Nicki Minaj songs. "She's beautiful..." he breathed, eying her.

But then, ironically, a huge storm started and the girl fell off the rail and into the ocean. Finnick gasped. "I'll save you!" he yelled. He swam over and caught her. Finnick stared at her face for along amount of time. He then noticed the McDonalds name tag on her shirt that read; 'Hi! My name is: Annie!'.

"What do we do now Mags?" Finnick asked.

"Queercvbungs fhtgd dluo." Mags suggested.

"Good idea! We'll take her to shore!"

Mags assisted Finnick while he dragged Annie through the ocean, then up on the beach. It was pretty hard too, stupid humans and their inability to not breathe under water.

Once there, Finnick made sure the coast was clear before he laid her down on the sand. He then did one of the three things he did best, flex his abs.

When Annie opened her eyes, Finnick panicked and jumped into the ocean.

_Later, later that night_

"Oh, Princess Annie! I'm so glad you're safe and back in the castle where you belong!" Effie squealed, flouncing around Annie and crying as if she just read some sad fanfiction and was having a total fan girl reaction. "Who saved you?"

Annie looked alarmed. "Effie, no one stabbed me."

"I said saved." Effie sighed.

"Oh," Annie blinked in confusion, "it was this guy, I only got a glimpse of him, but he was really hot and was flexing his abs around."

Effie clapped in delight. "Oh Hun, you're so lucky! I wish someone as hot as Justin Bieber could save me!"

Annie narrowed her eyes, and her facial expression became mad. "Justin is ugly! The guy who saved me is beautiful!"

Effie gasped, "How dare you?" she shrieked, "Justin is as hot as mahogany!"

_The next day, under the sea_

Finnick woke up and swam out of bed in the direction of the kitchen. He smelt pancakes. No one was too old for pancakes.

"Good morning!" Cinna sang, turning the page of the newspaper. "And happy birthday! Octavia thought she might make pancakes to celebrate the occasion." the fire alarm went off. "Correction, burn them."

"It's okay, burned pancakes are better than no pancakes at all." Finnick shrugged.

"True that." Cinna nodded in agreement.

After eating breakfast, Finnick headed out to meet Mags. On the way, a bunch of mermaids threw presents at him and squealed out his name. Some fainted.

Finnick finally bumped into Mags and she presented him his present, a gift card for an appointment with the sea witch, Mizz Coin.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Finnick questioned, waving it around.

"Gell," Mags suggested, "Dkil tucr utv hiombu? Oi yolouyif!"

Finnick, once again, gasped. "Mags!" he exclaimed, "That's a brilliant idea! I could ask her to make me a human!"

"Nom nin nun!" Mags said in happiness, happy that her friend could now get wanted he wanted. The two joined hands/fins and skipped (or what could be called retarded swimming) to Mizz Coin's liar.

"Helloooooooooo,"Finnick sang when they arrived, knocking on the cave door, "anyone homeeeeeeeee?" Silence. "...anyone?"

Suddenly a voice shrieked through and scarred the crap out of Finnick and Mags. "You may... ENTER."

Finnick swam in and looked around. "Nice decor." he commented, looking around, noticing the skulls and dead bodies.

"Thank you." Coin said, "Take a seat Finnick" she said, gesturing to the chair across from her, which seemed to be made out of shark teeth. Finnick sat down.

"So," Coin said, "you want to be a human?"

"How did you know?" Finnick asked.

Coin shrugged. "Lucky guess. But it'll be easy turning you into a human."

"Don't I have to give you something in return?"

"Nah, that only happens in the movies."

"Oh," Finnick said, slightly confused, "okay then."

Coin rubbed her hands together. "Let's get started then."

She dramatically raised her hands, and, BAM!, Finnick was a human.

He swam to the surface, and Annie saw him.

"You were the one that saved me!" she yelled, pointing at him.

"Yes I was." Finnick announced proudly. "Why don't we skip the rest of the story line and get married now?"

"Okay!" Annie beamed. And they soon got married.

That's not the end of it. Several other events occurred, Including, but not limited to: Mags and Coin both engaged in an epic rock battle, Finnick and Annie had a son, Portia raped Cinna, and Venia, Octavia and Flavious admitted that they're gay.

* * *

"And that's it!" Little Finn announced proudly. "What do you think mummy?"

Annie stared down at her sweet, _sweet_ son, who had just read her the most horrible story she had ever heard. Finn took after his father alright, he was a terrible writer.

She thought for a moment before answering. "Oh Finn, it's very… _creative_." she said sweetly. Finn beamed back her.

"Really? Thanks mummy!" he said hugging her, before running back into his room. Annie stared down at the dishes she was washing and had one thought. _Out of all the times I could've had an emotional break down, why not then?_

Then End!

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**Next up is Snow White, with Miss. Mason as Snow White. In your reviews leave suggestions as to who you think should be a dwarf!**

**Wonderfully Random**


	4. Jo White and the Many Dwarves

**Author****'****s note: Oh. My. God. I****'****m so, so sorry for the long wait. In November, I finally got back my laptop, but I was just being really lazy, busy with the last term of school, and when I finally decided to start, I had nothing. It was the worst case of writers block, ever. That's enough ranting though, sorry again for the wait.**

**Special thanks to: ****Haley the Taco, Random HG Fan, i-am-foxface, The-Bowler-Hat-Ladies and CyanKitty**** for the great ideas.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.**

* * *

Johanna White Mason decided that she had the crappiest life ever on her tenth birthday. Her father had mysteriously disappeared, leaving her in the care of her stepmother, Enobaria, or as Johanna called her, the wicked queen, who needed some extreme dental care (because she had the sharpest teeth ever, you could swear that she was a vampire, and every time she stepped out into the sun, Johanna crossed her fingers and hoped she would burn to ash).

Enobaria was a very pretty sight to stare at, _sarcasm_ people, _sarcasm_. She had long black hair, a huge, fat mole on her face, and oh yeah, her freaky unnatural teeth Unfortunately for Johanna, she had to work as a slave to Enobaria for the rest of her life.

Every morning, Johanna had to wake up, clean the huge house (which was in the middle of NOWHERE), bathe the chickens, rub Enobaria's feet, and sometimes she would have to renew Enobaria's magazine subscription to 'One Direction: The Magazine Guide to Our Favourite Boy Band!', which wasn't even true, Johanna _loathed_ the stupid boy band.

One day, Enobaria was watching Johanna chasing around the chickens trying to get them in the tub of water. Enobaria yawned, bored, and turned her attention to her new phone. She had Johanna pick it up last week, and it was the new iPhone 67,000.0002, featuring the new mirror app 3,000.

She tapped on the mirror app with her long finger nail, which was long enough to compete with that ugly cat Buttercup that lived in the village with that stupid blonde girl, and waited for it to boot-up. As soon it loaded up, a little face appeared on the screen and said, in a computerized voice, 'What can I do for you, Mistress?'

Enobaria smiled at the phone, and said, 'Mirror app, mirror app on my cell, who has teeth as sharp as hell?' Enobaria asked in a fake sweet voice.

'You do, Mistress,' the phone answered back, 'although they're looking a bit blunt this week.'

Angered by that comment, Enobaria threw her phone at the wall. The phone let out a small 'Ow!' as it hit the floor.

Enobaria walked to the other side of the room and picked up the phone, and hissed onto the screen; 'Mirror app, mirror app I just threw at the wall, who is the most sarcastic of them all?'

The phone whimpered, if it was possible for phones to whimper, and said, 'Umm… well,' the voice went quiet as if scared, 'Johanna White Mason'.

'What?' Enobaria shrieked, while the phone let out a squeaked, 'Please don't throw me at the wall again!' She did throw the phone never less.

'Johanna needs to go!' Enobaria yelled. 'I can't have her around, it'll ruin my rep!' She pounded her fist against the table. 'I need to get rid of her!'

Meanwhile, the iPhone had just leaked its battery package.

Enobaria looked up and smiled evilly, she had a plan. She would get the mirror app to murder Johanna just like Siri did in that SMOSH video! Genius!

'Get up, you stupid phone,' Enobaria snapped, 'you've got some work to do…'

That night, Enobaria threw her phone into Johanna's room through the window. The phone landed in the bed with a soft 'thud'. Satisfied, she walked away. Little did she know Johanna was actually awake, and that she saw her throw the phone through the window.

'Okay phone,' Johanna harshly whispered as soon as she could no longer hear Enobaria's footsteps, 'what are you doing here?'

'I-I' the phone burst into digital tears, 'Mistress told me to kill you, but I don't wanna!' it whined.

'Kill me?' Johanna repeated, 'why, that little-'

'Ssh!' the phone whispered, sniffling, 'you have to run away, Johanna White, it's the only way!'

'What? You want me to run away, and back out fr-' Johanna started.

'No, please!' the phone protested, 'you must go!'

Johanna groaned, 'Ugh, fine.'

'Good, no go and jump out the other window and I'll tell Mistress t-'

'Wait,' Johanna interrupted, 'you want me to jump and leave and _take nothing with me?_'

'Yes'

Eventually Johanna left the big house/small mansion in the middle of nowhere, leaving a very emotionally unstable phone behind.

She wandered through the wood, until she came to a small house. She was hungry and was in desperate need of a place to sleep. She would give the owners anything, money (oh wait, she had none), her clothes, Enobaria's head or even a _lap dance_.

Of course when she opened the door, she didn't expect to see a very small girl open the door.

'Hello,' she said in a squeaky voice, 'my name is Rue Adorable, what's yours?'

'Jo White.' Johanna said. She thought that this Adorable girl must be very short; she only looked about twelve, or was older than she looked.

'Oh, Jo White!' Adorable exclaimed, 'you look terrible! Come in!'

'Sure.'

When Johanna walked in, she did not expect what she saw.

There were about six short men (or five, if the one with the afro was a girl, same with the old lady), and they were singing karaoke.

'What the hell?' Johanna mumbled to herself, but Adorable heard her.

'Are you confused, Jo White?' Adorable asked, 'You see, we are very merry dwarves, and here we live, and in the day, we go mining, and when work is done, we sing to the magic Japanese music box. Here, let me introduce you to everyone!'

Adorable grabbed Johanna's hand, and dragged her off.

'Hey everyone, meet my new friend, Jo White!' Adorable announced, 'I found her outside, can we keep her, please?'

'Another street rat?' a sober looking dwarf hiccupped.

'How rude!' another one with big hair said, 'of course we can keep her! She can do the cleaning while we're at work!'

'Cleaning?' Johanna raised an eyebrow.

'Never mind that!' Adorable chirped, 'I'll introduce you, Jo White!'

'See him?' Adorable pointed to the sober looking dwarf, 'his name is Haymitch Drunk, and she's' Adorable turned around and pointed to the one with big hair, 'Effie Dopey.' Effie waved cheerily.

'That's Thresh Rock,' Rue pointed to a dwarf sitting in the corner, who was big enough to be a mini wrestler.

'Who's the old lady next to him?' Johanna asked, pointing to an old wrinkly dwarf that looked dead (she even had flies buzzing around her head).

'She Old' Rock answered.

'Yeah, yeah,' Johanna rolled her eyes, 'I get she's old, but what's her name?'

'No, she Old' Rock repeated.

'I know that-'

'No, Jo White,' Adorable said, 'her name is Old, Mags Old.'

'Oh'

'And that's Finnick Sexy,' Adorable pointed to a dwarf flexing his abs while singing to 'Seven Things' by Miley Cyrus on the karaoke.

Johanna scoffed 'Sexy? You're not even good looking!' And with that, Sexy started crying.

_Meanwhile, in District Four__…_

Annie Cresta looked up from her TV, where she was watching reruns of The Teletubies, the one show that was possibly worse than Dora the Explorer.

'I feel a disturbance,' she mumbled to herself, 'my Finnick senses are tingling.'

Anyway, Sexy brawled out his eyes, and Adorable introduced Johanna to the next dwarf.

'That's Cinna Fabulous' Rue pointed to a dwarf with too much man make-up on.

'Uh, like, hello,' he said, and Johanna wondered why he was talking like a valley girl.

Adorable pointed to a dwarf hidden underneath the curtain, head in a book, and Johanna hadn't noticed her until now, 'she the eight dwarf, Wiress Nerdy.' Adorable said.

'Okay then, let me get this straight,' Johanna cleared her throat, 'your names are: Adorable, Drunk, Dopey, Rock, Old, Sexy, Fabulous and Nerdy?'

'Yup,' was the response.

'Who the fuck named you?'

They all shrugged.

The dwarves gave Johanna a room to sleep in, as long as she cleaned the house the next day, when they went mining.

The next morning, the dwarves left, leaving Johanna to clean the house. She opened all the windowed and started brooming. Then a dozen animals jumped through the window.

'Get out!' Johanna yelled, shooing them away.

Meanwhile, Enobaria was raging at her phone. 'What do mean you told her to run away?' she yelled.

'Sorry!' the phone whined.

'Ugh, never mind that, I just have to get rid of her myself, hmm?' Enobaria stroked her imaginary beard with her fingers, 'Got it! Johanna hates apples, so I'll force her to eat one! She'll day of the healthy taste!'

Enobaria reached over to take an apple from the fruit bowl, but accidently spilled a bottle of poison that just happened to be there.

'Opps! Oh well!' next, Enobaria forced her phone to find out where Johanna was, and then she disguised herself as an old lady.

Johanna was looking through the drawers of Rock's wardrobe when she heard the knock; she answered the door and said, 'Hello, creepy old lady,'

'Hello, pretty, pretty,' Enobaria croaked.

'Are you some sort of paedophile?' Johanna asked.

'No, I just wanted you to have this apple,' Enobaria held up the poison apple.

'I don't like apples,' Johanna was about to shut the door when Enobaria yelled, 'JUST EAT THE DAMN APPLE!' and shoved it in her mouth. Johanna chocked and chewed the apple, until the poison went through her, and, well she died.

Enobaria ran away laughing.

Later that day, the dwarves were walking home, talking about the songs they wanted to sing next on the karaoke box. When the walked through the door, they screamed at what they saw, expect for Old, who was probably dead too.

They carried Johanna through the forest and dug a hole that they planned to dump her body in, when a prince on a horse came riding in.

'Hello there midget people, my name is Prince Gale Hottytone - hey! Is that a corpse? Am I in a gore movie or something?' Gale asked.

'No,' Adorable sniffed sadly, 'we found her like this when we came home from mining.'

'Oh, how sad,' Gale frowned, 'maybe if I kiss her she'll wake up?'

'Ooohh yes, try that! I'll ship you two together!' Dopey squealed.

So Gale leaned down, and was about to kiss Johanna, but she woke up and slapped him.

'When was the last time you ate a mint?' Johanna snapped, while the dwarves squealed in happiness that Johanna was alive.

'OW!' Gale put his hand to his cheek, sobbing, 'this sucks, I can't get anyone to like me! First Katpunzel, now you! I can't even get the village whore Madge to like me!' And with that, Gale rode away on his horse.

He rode so fast that he couldn't see where he was going and accidently rode over Enobaria, who was talking a walk, killing her.

* * *

'What did you think, Auntie Johanna?' Little Finn beamed up and Johanna.

Johanna was about to say it was a piece of crap, but Annie gave her the whole Don't-you-dare-ruin-my-son's-imagination-and-crush-his-dreams glare.

So instead she said, 'Well, it was very _creative_.'

'Really?' Finn beamed even more, 'Mummy said the same thing!' and with that he skipped off to the kitchen.

'Creative, Annie?' Johanna asked.

'What? You said the same thing!' Annie argued.

Da End

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Remember to leave a review; next chapter, Chapter 5, will be Rue and the Beetee stalk, a parody of Jack and the Beanstalk. There's a poll on my profile as to what Chapter 6 will be, please vote! This story now also has a cover! **

**Love you guys,**

**TheFluffiestUnicorn**


	5. Rue and the Beetee Stalk

**Author's Note: School starting again = zero time to write :(. Sigh. On a better note: new chapter up, yay! This one is a parody of Jack and the Beanstalk! The fairy tale that wins the poll will be parodied in the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or Jack and the Beanstalk.**

**THANKS to haley the taco for suggesting the idea for this chapter**

* * *

Once, - yes people, once not twice, deal with – there was a small girl named Rue who lived with her mother on a small town in a place called District 11, a walk away from District 12's market called the hob. Rue and her mother were total nobodies, so they were, like, poor as crap.

One day, Rue's mother came bursting into the kitchen of their small house, yelling; 'Snow bless me, I did _it!_ Not sex Rue, But I stole it!'

'What did you steal mother?' Rue asked innocently.

'Shut up and don't give me that look!' her mother snapped. She then continued, 'I stole a cow off some District 1 farmers passin' by, and I stole it! That it'll teach em' right, farmin' snobs they are!'

Rues eyes lit up, 'Does this mean we will finally be able to taste milk mother?'

Rue's mother furrowed her brow. 'Aww, hell no! I want yer' to go into town and sell this beauty ere' for some real food!'

Rue sighed. 'Where's the cow then mother?'

'Outside, now go and get em'!'

Rue walked outside and saw the cow tied up to the fence. It was not a normal cow, to be frank.

Its face was plastered with too much make-up; big red lips with purple eye shadow, its hooves were wearing heels, and it seemed to be wearing a mini-skirt. Strangest of all, she had shiny golden-blonde hair on her head.

_Is this what all District 1 cows are like? _Rue thought as she untied the rope.

The cow mooed softly. 'Helloooo,' she said in a ditzy voice, 'my name is Glimmer, and you are adorable, are you here to take me back to District 1?'

Rue flushed, and was surprised that District 1 cows could talk. 'Umm, sort of.'

The cow giggled – or moo-giggled – with glee. 'Oh thank you! I don't think I can live much longer without getting a hoovicure!'

Rue took the cow by the rope around her neck and led her towards the direction of the Hob. It was a long walk and soon Glimmer started to complain that she was tired, so Rue started whistling a song to soothe her. Soon these birds called Mockingjays heard and came down to join in, but were enchanted by Glimmer's hair, and charged after her. So Rue and Glimmer had to run the rest of the way.

By the time they reached the Hob, both Rue and Glimmer were panting and red in the face from running away from those drat birds.

'Oh Rue!' Glimmer started to cry perfect tears, that shone like diamonds, 'I was so scared Rue! Please don't sell me! Take me back to District 1!'

Rue sighed. 'I can't, I have to sell you, no come on.' She gave the rope a little tug, and the walked off.

Unfortunately, no one wanted to buy Glimmer, so she burst into more tears. Rue felt like telling her to shut up, but didn't because she didn't want to risk Glimmer crying anymore.

It was late afternoon when Rue was about to go home and face the wrath of her mother, when a mysterious man appeared, with a very stupid beard.

'Hello, little girl,' he said, stroking his stupid beard, 'What do you have there?'

'A cow' Rue answered.

'Oh, do you now? Well, my name is Seneca Crane, and what's yours?'

'Alice.' Rue lied.

'That's a pretty name. Where are you going, all alone like this with a cow?'

''Going to meet my father.'

'And who's he?'

'A murderer.'

Seneca chocked on his own spit. 'He's WHAT?'

'I told you,' Rue said, 'he's a murderer, it's his profession.'

'You're joking!' Seneca pointed a finger at Rue.

'I ain't! I tell you, this is why I have this cow. Daddy wants to practice a few torture tricks, so he wants me to give him this cow to practice on.' Glimmer, being stupid and not knowing Rue was lying, burst into tears.

Seneca looked at Rue in a mixture of fear and pity. 'Tell you what, I don't think this pretty little cow of yours should be killed, I'll, hmm, take her off your hands.'

'Ten bucks and I'll give her to you.'

'I don't have any money.'

'No deal then,' Rue said, about to walk off.

'No! Wait, wait, I have, erm, something else,' he clumsily searched the inside of his jacket for something, 'beans!' he cried out once he found them.

'Beans?'

'Yes, these magic beans! I'll give them to you for the cow!'

'Joy! Mother can make us soup!' Rue snatched the beans off him.

'I thought you said you were going to see your father?'

'Yes, but now that he has no cow he'll be angry, no doubt! Mother's soup will probably calm him, but he might come after the man who took his cow, mind you.'

Seneca shook his head. 'Silly little girl,' he took Glimmer's rope and tugged hard, 'Calm along now, cow.'

Glimmer burst into tears. 'Oh Rue! Don't let him take me!'

'I thought your name was Alice?'

Rue nodded, 'It is, but this cow's just stupid.'

Rue arrived home later to her mother, who was watching SpongeBob in the living room.

'There you are! You nuisance of a girl!' she said when she saw Rue, 'Where's our money!'

'I got none, Mother' Rue said, but she took the packet of beans and waved them in the air,' But I got beans!'

'BEANS!?' her mother shrieked, 'YOU SPENT THE COW ON BEANS!?

'Yes'

'Stupid girl!' Rue's mother snatched the beans out of her hand and threw them out the window, the slapped Rue hard across the face.

'But Mother!' Rue sobbed, starting to cry, 'You could've made dinner out of those beans!'

'YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I THREW THEM OUT THE WINDER'!'

'But Mother!' Rue protested.

'Go to your room!'

Rue sulkily threw her head low, and walked down the hall to her bedroom, where she cried like a wimp.

The next morning, Rue awoke to her mother screaming in the kitchen. She dressed quickly into her poor clothes, before running down the stairs.

'Mother, what's wrong?' Rue said in alarm.

'I'll tell yer' what's wrong! There's a giant man in our front garden!'

'Really?' Rue poked her head out the small kitchen window, 'OMG there is a giant man in our garden!'

Rue's mother shoved her out the door, 'Go talk to him Rue and see what he wants.'

Rue nodded and walked towards the tall man, a little fearful. This guy's head was in the clouds, but you could just see the outline on his glasses.

'Hello?' Rue shouted.

'Hello!' was the response.

'Who are you and where did you come from?' Rue questioned.

'My name is Beetee and I grew from them beans!'

'Oh,' was what Rue said. She marched into the house to tell her mother.

'Well, fuck me sideways three times!' she exclaimed, 'there's only one thing to do, my Rue, I'll be back in a moment'

She walked into the other room and came out with a water pistol... Rue gasped.

'Mother! Where did you get that?'

'Used to belong to your father,' she answered, 'now, the only thing you can do is shoot the thing with this pistol ere', you have to climb up on top of im' and shoot the water on his head, cause it ill' shrink im', but you have to climb on top of im' Rue! Shooting him the leg will only shrink the bugger's leg and he'll fall on top of our house and squash it, do you understand?'

Rue nodded, as she had been listening carefully to her mother's instructions. 'Yes, Mother, I understand.'

'Good girl,' she shoved the pistol in Rue's arms, 'now go get em'!'

Rue stumbled outside and began to climb Beetee, only stopping once when he got his bottom, because that was just plain awkward to climb.

Beetee was completely oblivious of Rue climbing him, but he would occasionally say to himself, 'I feel a little tickle somewhere!'

Rue eventually reached Beetee's head, and tried to squirt the water. But it was empty; she had forgotten to refill it with water. She would have to climb back down, refill it with water, and climb back up again.

And she was about to do just that, but she turned around and notice the huge house in the clouds, and the huge lake, full of water.

Rue thought that she could fill her pistol up there. She jumped off Beetee's head and landed on the soft cloud, and ran towards the lake.

She was about to fill it up, but then she heard giant footsteps coming. Scared, she ran towards the giant house and climbed up the giant mailbox and hid in there between the giant letters.

'I FEEL LIKE RYMING BUT I SUCK SO I'M NOT!' the giant sang.

He the noticed a little head peeking out from the letterbox, 'WHO'S IN MY LETTERBOX!' he yelled.

'Please don't eat me!' Rue cried.

The giant laughed. 'EAT YOU? I DON'T EAT LITTLE GIRLS! I'M A STRICT VEGERTARIAN!'

'Ohhh.'

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?'

'Umm, I need some water sir-'

'THRESH' the giant interrupted.

'I need some water from the lake, please, THRESH'

'WELL, GO GET SOME.'

'OKAY.'

Rue jumped out of the letterbox and went to the lake to fill up the pistol; she then jumped on Beetee and squirted him on the head. Slowly, Beetee started to shrink and became the size of a normal man. Rue wondered whether she should've asked Thresh if he wanted a squirt.

'Oh yes! I'm finally a real man!' Beetee rejoiced, 'Thank you, little girl!'

'Mr Beetee, do all giants shrink when you squirt them with water?' Rue asked.

'Oh, yes, all giants do. And some witches melt when you spray them too, and guys with stupid beards.'

'Oh, thank you.' Rue smiled at him.

'Now, I should be going, I have to go live life!' and with that, Beetee ran off.

Rue picked up the pistol, and discovered that there was still some water left in it. She put it under her arm and walked inside her house.

'There you are!' her mother snapped as soon as she walked in, 'took you long enough too, you pathetic piece of filth, what were you doing up there? I have the right mind to-'

Rue pointed the pistol at her mother a shot, squirting her mother with water. Rue screamed in surprise when she saw her mother melt.

'I knew it! I knew Mother was a witch!' Rue exclaimed happily.

MEANWHILE…

Seneca Crane was in his living room, trying to figure out what to do with Glimmer, all she did was cry all the time, and he couldn't breed her with his bull, Cato, because there were clato fans outside his house holding signs hating on glato, saying things such as, 'GLATO SUX! CATOXCLOVE 4EVA!' and 'DOWN WITH GLATO, UP WITH CLATO 3'. It was seriously giving Seneca a headache, stupid fangirls.

Speaking of which, why _wasn't he_ shipped with anyone?

He was about to call Mr Snow and complain about it, but a man ran into his house, causing Seneca to scream.

'WHO ARE YOU?' Seneca yelled. 'Wait! Are you Alice's father?'

'Alice? Who's Alice?' the man said, 'I'm Rue's father, and Imma gonna kill you for taking my cow!'

'No!' Seneca yelled as Rue's father sprayed him with water.

* * *

'And they all lived happily ever after, except for Seneca and your mother. What did you think, Rue?' Katniss asked.

Katniss and Rue were currently huddled in a tree during the 74th Hunger Games.

'No offence Katniss, but I didn't really like it. I don't even know who Beetee is!'

'What?' Katniss looked shocked. 'Don't you watch the Real Victors of District 3?'

Rue looked confused. 'Umm, no.'

Katniss shrugged. 'I actually don't blame you, if you want a real catfight, you should watch the Real Victors of District 1. But if you want a _literal _catfight, then you watch the Real Victors of District 2!'

The End

* * *

**I want to see who knows where the whole 'my father is murderer' quote is from. Props to you if you know!**

**Oh, and if you haven't voted in the poll on my profile yet, it will still be open for another week, so GO GO GO!**

**And reviews would be nice.**

**TheFluffiestUnicorn **


	6. Katerella

**Author's Note is at bottom.**

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Katniss Everdeen, who had quite an unfortunate life. Her father died in some mining accident, and her mother got re-married to _him_. A grumpy old Capitol man named _Cornelius Snow _who looked like an angrier and fatter version of Santa Claus. Worse yet, he had excess baggage, two _ugly_ daughters named Glimmer and Clove. Katniss knew that Snow only married her mother because of her money, but Katniss' mother didn't seem phrased.

'We both like My Little Pony, Katniss,' she had said when Katniss tried to warn her; 'We're a very good match.'

A few months after the wedding, Katniss' mother "mysteriously" disappeared, leaving Katniss in her stepfather's care, and she was made a slave. How not cliché!

She was forced to sleep in the kitchen with the mice (ewww) and had to cater to Glimmer and Clove's every need. And trust me, those girls had a _lot_ of needs.

'KATNISS! Where's my designer hand bag?'

'Katniss, give me a foot rub!'

'Katnissssssss, my dumb English teacher is making us read the Hunger Games for class. Can you read it for me? That dumb bitch doesn't know reading is against my beliefs.'

'KATNISS, HURRY UP AND DRIVE US TO THE MOVIE THEATRE! THE LAST TWILIGHT MOVIE IS ON!'

'OMG, OMG! Cato texted me, Katniss!'

'Um, no, he texted _me_.'

'LOL, no. He texted me.'

…And it would go on and on, and Katniss thought about hanging herself a few times. On top of that, she had to clean Snow's mansion while he went away and had lunch with his fancy friends.

So yeah, her life sucked.

One day, a letter came in the mail, announcing that the prince of District 12, Prince Peeta of bread, was having a ball and that all three girls were invited. It read:

_Dearest, _**GLIMMER AND CLOVE SPARKLE, KATNISS EVERDEEN**

_You have been invited to Prince Peeta's ball celebrating bread, held at the Hob._

_It would be appreciated if you could attend. Actually, no it wouldn't. We have so many people attending that we don't care!_

_As for the date and time, look it up on the internet, that's what everyone does these day, keep with the times! Websites include our Twitter and Facebook pages. _

_Sincerely,_

_Delly, Prince Peeta's royal writer_

At first, Glimmer and Clove were ecstatic; they would be able to marry a prince! They would become princess of District 12! But then… only _one_ could become princess and marry the _oh-so-dreamy-Peeta_.

And then all hell broke loose.

Glimmer and Clove would not shut up and stop arguing about who would marry Peeta, and Katniss had to put up with it. ALL of it.

'KATNISS, please tell that bimbo that I'M going to marry Peeta!'

'NUH UH! KATNISS! IT'S ME THAT'S GONNA MARRY PETER! ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!'

'YOU CAN'T EVEN PRONUNCE HIS NAME CORRECTLY!'

'SHUT UP, you know I'm academically challenged!'

Snow wasn't really helping the situation either. All he said was; 'Girls, I really don't care which one of you marries Peeta, as long as one of you does and I'll be rich!'

As for Katniss herself, even she was excited for the ball. Not for the dancing and the dresses part, eww. But for the fact that she would FINALLY be able to leave stupid Snow's mansion! YAY!

When the night of the ball came around, Katniss was in such a good mood, that she out of character-ly helped Glimmer and Clove prepare for the ball by doing their hair and make-up (how she knew how to do make-up, I have no idea). Clove picked an ugly orange dress the looked like it was ripped, and had her hair plaited multiple times, with too much mascara applied, so he had the longest eye lashes anyone had ever saw.

Glimmer had trouble picking between a see through gold gown and a short pick dress with ruffles. She eventually (and this took a very long time) picked the pink one. She had Katniss apply a pound of make-up to her face.

Katniss herself wore a basic blue dress, and braided her hair the way her mother used to. Snow hired a private hovercraft to take the girls to District 12. Glimmer and Clove giggled as they piled in the hovercraft, and Katniss was about to jump in, when Snow put a hand up to stop her.

'Um, where do you think you're going?' he asked. He himself had applied a lot of pink make-up.

'Um, to the ball,' Katniss answered. Glimmer and Clove sniggered.

'Um, I don't think so,' Snow answered. He snapped his fingers and suddenly Katniss caught on fire, her dress in flames.

'WITCHCRAFT! WIZERDRY!' Katniss yelled as she flailed around the ground, trying to desperately put the flames out. Glimmer and Clove laughed and pointed at her, chanting; 'KATNISS. KATNISS, GIRL ON FIRE!' Snow smirked.

'Let's go girls,' he said as the hovercraft flew up, and Katniss continued to roll around on the ground.

When the flaming stopped, she got her bow and arrows (which magically happened to appear out of nowhere) and shot a few at the hovercraft. Then she started to cry.

And that lasted for a few minutes.

And the cry was so loud that some peacekeepers heard from District 1, and walked all the way from over there to tell Katniss to shut up, and that they couldn't hear the coverage of Prince Peeta's ball.

Katniss eventually dragged herself inside the mansion, closed the door, and decided to watch re-runs of Doctor Who.

Just as she was getting to her favourite episode, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, there was a bright flash at the other side of the room, making Katniss scream and shoot some more arrows. She could hear two people scream 'Ow!' and 'My hair!' from what seemed inside the flash.

'Who's there?' Katniss asked, raising her bow.

'Why, it's your fairy god parents!' was the reply. Out from the flash came two small fairies with wands. 'My name is Effie!' the one with the big hair said, she then gestured to a sparkly man 'and this is Cinna!'

'Yo,' Cinna nodded towards Katniss.

'We're here to make all your dreams and wishes come true!' Effie said excitedly. Katniss smiled with excitement.

'You're giving me a monster truck?' she beamed at them hopefully.

'Let me say that again,' Cinna said, 'We're here to make all your dreams and wishes about the _ball_ come true!'

Katniss pouted.

'Now, now dear, don't pout,' Effie scolded, 'it makes your pores look _terrible_'

Katniss double pouted.

'Effie!' now it was Cinna's turn to pout, 'You made her upset now!'

'OH!' Effie grabbed a bunch of tissues from her purse and handed them to Katniss, 'I'm so sorry, dear! Take these in case you cry! Now… let's get started!' Effie squealed happily and clapped her hands.

'Started on what?' Katniss asked.

'Why, your make-over of course!' Cinna exclaimed, 'Can't go to the ball dressed like that! Venia, Flavius and Octavia, come here!'

Another flash of light appeared, and three oddly coloured pixies appeared, all giggling and discussing Sam Claflin.

'Katniss meet your prep team,' Cinna said.

'Umm, hello?' Katniss waved at the pixies, who turned their noses in disgust at the sight of her.

'Hon, we have sooooooo much work to do!' one piped up.

The three then all grabbed Katniss, and dragged her away, and began shaving, waxing and torturing her.

Later, Katniss came back out, looking like an actual human being. Cinna and Effie clapped in appreciation.

'You look darling!' Effie squeaked.

'Quite stunning,' Cinna added.

'I feel violated,' was Katniss' response. The two giggled.

'Now to get you in a dress,' Cinna announced.

'And a powdered wig!' Effie clapped her hands again.

Katniss narrowed her eyes and spoke to Cinna, 'She's joking, right? She's got to be joking!'

Cinna nodded, 'Oh she is, don't worry. Now, as I was saying, your dress….'

Cinna snapped her fingers and all of a sudden Katniss was dressed into a long, beautiful red dress, with her hair tied up into a bun, and make-up applied, with two pink socks on her feet. She, OOCly, giggled.

'Oh I look _perfect,_' she swooned at her own reflection in a nearby puddle which may or may not have been water, 'thank you so much!'

'Wait until you see your carriage!' Effie squealed in excitement as a carriage led by two beautiful white horses rode up, tugging a long a huge, deformed pumpkin behind them.

'What do you think?'

'The horses are good.'

'And the carriage?'

'The horses are good.'

Katniss climbed into the carriage as she waved goodbye to Effie and Cinna, as she rode off, Cinna yelled at her; 'Careful now, you only have until midnight, or else the dress will combust into flames!'

'Kay!' Katniss yelled back at him, but she wasn't really listening.

She arrived at the ball, and the castle was great and grand and blah. You know how it goes.

There she met Prince Peeta, who was enchanted by her. 'May I have this dance?' he asked, holding out his hand.

'Duh, I'm not going to stand here the whole time, am I?'

The started to do the chicken dance together, as the jealous guests watched from the sidelines, including Katniss' own stepsisters.

The night progressed, and Peeta made a comment on Katniss' dance moves. 'I must say, the way you flap your wings is ever so elegant.'

Katniss smiled. 'You should see me spin!' and with that, she did begin to spin. But as she did, the clock for midnight struck, all while she was spinning. Her dress soon began to burn.

'Oh crap!' she yelled, and she ran down the palace steps, running back home. Peeta ran after her, screaming; 'I don't know your name! Come back!'

As she ran down the steps, one of her pink socks slipped off. Peeta picked it up and inhaled it. 'Stinky…' he murmured, 'but I must find the girl who owns this sock!'

When Clove and Glimmer arrived home, they were oblivious to the fact that the girl from the ball was Katniss, and were still laughing about it. Snow, however, wasn't convinced, and eyed her suspiciously.

But Katniss just battered her eyelashes and said; 'but I was watching Doctor Who the whole time!'

When Prince Peeta came, Glimmer tried on the sock, but her skinny long toes wouldn't fit, as for Clove her feet were a bit fat. Actually, really fat, yeah that's better.

When Katniss tried them on, they fitted perfectly, and Snow, Glimmer and Clove fainted from shock. Peeta looked up at Katniss with adoring eyes and said; 'Katniss Everdeen, will you marry me?'

'No,' was Katniss' response.

Peeta twitched. 'What?'

'I said no,' Katniss repeated, 'in case you didn't get the memo, if a girl dances with you, and doesn't call back, she isn't interested, just saying.'

'It's Gale, isn't it?' Peeta cried in outrage.

'Yup!'

* * *

Ten year old Prim smiled up at Katniss.

'Thanks for telling me that story, Katniss,'

'No problem, Prim,' Katniss returned the smile, 'now, if this ever happens to you, just do as I did, reject the guy, and say it was Gale.'

'But he's way older than me!'

Katniss shrugged. 'He's better than Peeta.'

The End

* * *

**Oh my gods, guys. First of all, I'd like to say I'm really sorry for the long wait, last update was in February, and that's roughly four months ago. I am so sorry! Four months is a huge wait for another chapter, and this story was basically on an unannounced hiatus. But the thing is it just came down to me. I slowly faded out of the Hunger Games fandom, and now, I'm slowly starting to fade back in. So don't worry, I promise the next chapter won't be as long a wait. If it is, I give you full permission to shoot me. With bread.**

**As for the poll, yes, I will still be continuing that. The order of the results were:**

**1. Cinderella (this chapter)**

**2. Snow White and Rose Red**

**3. The Wizard of Oz and Hansel and Gretel (these two tied)**

**4. Puss in Boots**

**And lastly, at 5, was Thumbelina.**

**As for Cinderella itself, a few of you guys PMed me with suggestions and questions, and that was great because it's awesome to see readers so enthusiastic about a story! I told a few of you that Effie was going to be Fairy Godmother, while I told some it would be Cinna. Others I said Madge and Delly would be the stepsisters, as I already used Glimmer and Clove as characters and I wanted to spread the roles around a bit. But in the end, Glimmer and Clove seemed like a better choice.**

**The next one, as voted by you, is Snow White and Rose Red, which is my favourite fairy tale, and I promise to start on it ASAP! Hansel and Gretel is tied with the Wizard of Oz, so, I thought you guys would suggest which one you would like first.**

**Now, you could either do one of two things:**

**1. Scream abuse at me for being a butt of an author (perfectly acceptable) or,**

**2. Leave me a nice review (I would prefer this one)**

**It's your choice! **


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